Understanding Behavior: What Your Child’s Behavior Might Be Telling You
As parents, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when a child engages in challenging behavior. Whether it’s tantrums, refusals, or outbursts, these moments can feel like barriers to connect and communicate with each other. But what if we told you that every behavior has a meaning?
At Bright Beginnings ABA, one of the foundational principles we teach is that behavior is communication. Understanding what your child’s behavior is trying to “say” is the first step in helping them learn and thrive.
Behavior Has a Function
In ABA, we recognize that all behavior—positive or challenging—typically serves one of four main functions:
Attention: Your child may act out to gain your attention, even if it’s negative attention (like scolding or a raised voice). This is especially common if they feel ignored or disconnected.
Escape or Avoidance: Challenging behaviors sometimes occur to avoid a non-preferred task, like cleaning up toys or completing homework. The behavior “works” if it results in escaping the demand.
Access to Tangibles: This is when a child behaves in a certain way to gain access to something they want—like a toy, treat, or screen time.
Sensory or Automatic: Some behaviors happen because they provide sensory input or feel good to the child. These are not always driven by external rewards but by internal reinforcement.
Understanding which of these functions is behind a behavior helps us respond more effectively and teach better alternatives.
Look at the ABCs
ABA professionals analyze behavior using the ABC model:
A – Antecedent: What happened right before the behavior?
B – Behavior: What exactly did the child do?
C – Consequence: What happened immediately after the behavior?
This helps us find patterns. For example, if a child throws a toy every time clean-up is announced (Antecedent), and the clean-up task is delayed as a result (Consequence), we might identify that the behavior helps the child escape the task. Let’s break it down using another common example - a child wanting a treat.
A: Denied access to a cupcake
B: Screams, cries, lays on the ground
C: Receives a cupcake
In this example, the behavior’s function is identified as “Access to Tangibles,” and is demonstrated through the behavior occurring after being denied access, and presumably stopping when access to a cupcake is provided.
What Can Parents Do?
Here are a few ways you can start decoding and shaping your child’s behavior at home:
Stay Curious, Not Reactive: Instead of asking “Why are you doing this?” try asking “What are you trying to tell me right now?”
Look for Patterns: Start jotting down what happens before and after specific behaviors. Patterns will start to emerge.
Reinforce the Positive: Catch your child being good. Praise and reward the behaviors you want to see more often.
Stay Consistent: Consistency in rules and consequences is key to helping your child learn what to expect, and what is expected of them.
Seek Support: If you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed, an ABA provider can help guide you with customized strategies for your child.
You’re Not Alone
It’s important to remember that behavior is not a reflection of “bad parenting” or a “bad child.” It’s an opportunity for learning, growth, and support. At Bright Beginnings ABA, we work closely with families to help decode behavior and teach children more effective, appropriate ways to get their needs met.
Understanding behavior is the first step to changing it. And every step you take brings you closer to a brighter beginning.
